Choices

Common questions I used to ask myself:

Why am I fat?

How did I gain so much weight (100 pounds over 12 years)?

Who is to blame for this, and who can fix me!?

The answers are simple: You are fat because you make easy choices that make you feel good in the short term. You gained so much weight because you had zero will power and gave in. You are to blame for this. No one forced you to eat Big Macs and pizza, to guzzle beer and Mountain Dew, to sit on your ass and watch some dumb fucking TV show or troll the internet. And no one will fix you. Modern society gives us an unbelievable array of choices. I can click on any product I can imagine, and it will be at my doorstep two days later. I can click on any TV show or movie, and it can be on a 46 inch screen with 5.1 surround sound in seconds.

My choices led me to get fat. My choices made me pasty, disgusting, ugly disgrace of a human being. Not some pleasantly plump, “healthy at any size” snowflake, but a living embodiment of all of the terrible things that choices can give us.

Tonight, I have a choice.

I worked for ten hours today. I took a verbal ass-kicking from a customer because I had to. I dealt with idiots. All I ate today was two Quest bars and a bowl of chili. My traps hurt like a motherfucker. I want to rest. I want to sit on the couch, watch The Fifth Element, eat a pizza and breadsticks, have a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, and pass out from the inevitable sugar crash. I have that choice, and making it would require next to no effort. My phone is inches away, and there’s a great pizza place that will deliver it to my front door. I could get in my car, drive to the supermarket five minutes up the road and get the ice cream and maybe even some Wheat Thins and some cheese dip. I mean, I had a hard day, and I deserve to treat myself.

My choice is this.

Even though today is an “off” day for lifting, I’m going outside in the rain, getting in my car and driving to the gym for an hour of intervals on the recumbent bike. Instead of ingesting calories, I’m going to burn them. I am right about the fact that I deserve to treat myself, I’m simply choosing to treat my future self with the rewards of my actions tonight, and on many other nights when I did what most don’t have the discipline or focus to do.

Stop being such a fucking weak-willed pussy, stop succumbing to the easy choice, the choice that most people make, and start making choices like the one I’m making tonight. Stop taking the path of least resistance, making excuses, and being a whiny little bitch. Weeks, months, and years from now, your future self will thank you for it.

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